This coming Sunday, Jason and I will be celebrating our 18-year wedding anniversary. A little over 20 years of being together in a continuous relationship. This turns out to be basically half of our existing lifespan up to this point. When reminded of this, Jason clutches his chest and makes gagging sounds. I tell him I will try not to let such over-the-top, theatric declarations of love and devotion go to my head.

All kidding aside, in today’s society the trend of treating relationships like short term disposable commodities has caused Jason and my endurance with each other to stand out as somewhat of an oddity. I am not just talking marriage here, that is just what I personally have the most experience in, but all manner of relationships. Be they partners, couples, siblings, parents, co-workers, neighbors or so on. However did we arrive at such place as a society that it has become more commonplace to just give up and move on than work hard and fix what is broken?

Relationships are not just about shared, fun, exciting adventures. Really good long-term relationships take work. Work that includes sucking it up, making sacrifices all the while pouring in endless amounts of fine tuning and compromising. Lasting relationships require you to cultivate the ability to learn from mistakes made, swallow your pride and find the fortitude to stick out the good times as well as the bad instead of just cutting bait at the first sign of trouble for something or someone newer and easier.

For Jason and me, it still comes down to always being friends first. No matter which one of us is ticked off about some supposed slight over the garbage, the dishes, the finances, parenting decisions and spending habits, we still just want to share our day to day experiences and simply be there for one another.

We are not the type of people that have ever needed a big splashy romantic vacation or expensive jewelry to celebrate the annual milestone in our relationship or prove our love to the world. We instead celebrate all year round in the small, quiet ways we need to support and help one another. For example we still talk to each other every day at lunch time. Not because we have to, but because we want to and desire to. We try very hard to set a living example, warts and all, for our own child to follow as he works his way through a lifetime of his own relationships.

Heading towards the end of another year, think about what relationships in your life that need some fine tuning or simple appreciation. Be a good friend first and foremost. Forgive.

Happy anniversary, Jason.