Common courtesy is a phrase many of us have learned over the course of our lives. Various recent events have turned my attention to the fact that courtesy is not as “common” as it should be.

What really caught me by surprise was the fact that most recipients of any common courtesy are completely floored by it. The selfless gesture on the giver’s part is met initially with a certain amount of suspicion, a temptation to reject and sometimes just plain speechless shock.

Why is that?

Have we become such a “me, me, me” society that we are incapable of graciously giving and/or receiving basic common courtesy anymore?

So let’s talk about those recent events that I referred to. A few days ago at the grocery store, I pulled my mounded shopping cart into the checkout line and started to unload at the register. Now, I don’t know about you, but with the economy being what it is and retailers reducing worker hours, there never seems to be enough checkout lines open at 5:30 in the afternoon when everyone is shopping on their way home from work.

When this is the case, I tend to feel a little guilty about the fact that my load is going to take a considerable amount of time to complete. I really try to take a look back to see who is behind me and how many items they have.

Well, a few days ago, it was a father with three kids (all under the age of 10) and two items. One look at his face told me the whole story of how his day was going. And it did not look good. I said, “Hey, you can go ahead of me. You only have a couple of things an I am going to need some extra time to unload all of my stuff.” I thought the man was going to cry right there. That was worth it for me. He said, “Thank you, you didn’t need to do that.”

“No problem” I said. “Just pay it back with someone else today.” Well he did pay it back. When I got out to my car, he already had his three kids strapped in their seats in his own vehicle. He drove over to where I was parked and helped me load all of my stuff into my car while still keeping one eye on his kids. There wasn’t anything common about the courtesy of that moment for either of us.

Last week, it was all about my son Nick. Nick is a trooper. He attends two to three public meetings or committee sessions with me every month.

He rarely complains and keeps himself entertained with a Subway sandwich (provided by me), his homework and his Nintendo DSI.

Because of his attendance Nick, at the advanced age of 9, is on a first name basis with most of the Bremerton School District administration, the mayor of Brem-erton and two City Council members. Last Wednesday, during a Bremerton School District Finance Committee meeting, he was struggling with several questions on his homework. He knows to do what he can during the meeting and then we will both go over the remainder when we get home. Well, a very nice lady happened to be sitting in on the meeting as an observer. She joined Nick at his table and struck up a conversation with him. He mentioned that he was having trouble with a few of the questions on his homework. She patiently set about helping him with the ones he needed help with and then checked the remainder of his work. Nick did not realize at the time that it was the principal of Bremerton High School, who kindly took the time to help him with his homework.

When he found out, he could not wait to tell his teacher the next day. It was not a common moment for either Nick or the principal.

As individuals we should really take the time to slow down occasionally and take a really good look around for those common moments where some simple courtesy can make everyone’s life a little less common.