By CHRIS TUCKER
Kitsap Week

BREMERTON — Building self esteem, promoting education and instilling leadership skills is the mission of OurGEMS, a Kitsap Peninsula program that focuses on improving the lives of young women.

GEMS is short for Girls Empowered through Mentoring and Service. OurGEMS co-founder and mentor Vicki Collins spoke to around 20 girls at Bremerton High School on Feb. 24 about self worth, the importance of education, body image, and healthy relationships, among other things.

Young women are like diamonds or other gemstones, Collins told the girls: unbreakable, strong, independent, beautiful, valuable, precious, and brilliant.

“That’s what you are. And we want you to understand your worth,” Collins said.

Collins said learning how to be a lady was a key point to OurGEMS. “Not how to act like one, but really be one,” Collins said. Being a lady is a function of how a young woman presents herself, a reflection of their school, their church, family, the OurGEMS program, and — first and foremost — the girls themselves.

Collins told the girls that “trashy, wretched behavior” such as use of profanity is not acceptable. Being a lady means “being able to conduct yourself appropriately according to the situation that you find yourself in.”

The girls spoke about what they learned during a recent trip to the state capital, where they spoke with Jamila Thomas, chief of staff for House Speaker Frank Chopp, and other members of the state government. It was part of African American Legislative Day.

Collins pointed out that Thomas used her good grade point average to earn a bachelor’s degree to get her high-ranking position in government. “Grade point average and what?,” Collins asked the girls. “Yes, hard work. She said if you were able, if you were willing to put the work in, you can get where you wanted to go.”

All the leaders they spoke to in Olympia had the same message, Collins said. “They all said, ‘Set a goal, stay on track, have good grades, work hard.’ They were all saying the same thing.”

A good education at the grade school and high school level is important, Collins said. “What you do now matters, particularly if you’re going to go into any career or go to college later. It helps in life to be a well-rounded person.”

In order to make good life decisions and maintain healthy relationships, Collins said the girls were taught how to recognize a “gentleman.” This ability was key because it ties into the girls’ sense of self worth and value.

“Do you want any old kind of guy in your life? No, because you want someone who is going to respect and honor you and know your worth and know your value and treat you like you’re valuable,” Collins said.

The girls needed to be aware of how various forms of media — including television, newspapers, magazines, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, radio and music — could affect them.

Media messages aren’talways positive, Collins said, and could adversely affect how a girl thinks about her body, sometimes even at an unconscious level.

“The message is they’re going to try to tell us what’s beautiful, what’s cool,” Collins said. But one should recognize that true beauty is in the eye of the beholder. “We don’t want the media to cause us to feel ‘less than.’ To feel less than pretty, less than acceptable, less than normal, less than beautiful.”

OurGEMS co-founder Harriette Bryant was on hand as Collins spoke. Bryant said she began mentoring in 1999 and, by 2011, her efforts grew into the OurGEMS program. It started with nine girls but now includes nearly 200 girls. Some of those girls have come back to mentor in OurGEMS. Girls ages 12-21 participate in the program.

Teaching accountability and responsibility is a big part of OurGEMS. The program also takes girls on tours of area college campuses. “We focus mainly on grade point averages. We figure if we focus on the GPA they would actually be college ready.”

The program is run by volunteers and costs nothing to the girls.

For Bryant, the pay-off for her efforts comes in the form of happier, more successful young women. “They’re going to become a better student, a better community person,” she said.

From left, Avonna Edwards, Deja Barlow and Destiny Williams listen to OurGEMS mentor Vicki Collins during a classroom presentation at Bremerton High School on Feb. 23. Photo: Chris Tucker / Kitsap Week

Above, OurGEMS co-founder Harriette Bryant talks to OurGEMS participants about accountability and responsibility. Chris Tucker / Kitsap Week