I’m sorry, folks, but I just have to get this off my feminine chest.

I’m referring to the article, “Seeking equal topless rights,” in the July 1 North Kitsap Herald.

This idea of women going topless in public because men can is ridiculous. I think some people were behind the door when brains were passed out.

We are not built like men, or haven’t they noticed? We are not equal physically or in mind set. We even have different plumbing or we gals would not endure hours of labor giving birth.

Being topless in public assuredly doesn’t make females equal to males. When men can become pregnant and carry a baby nine months — now that’s equality in my book.

If toplessness is the biggest discrimination they can fight, it surely shows how far our civilization has sunk. Fight for real disadvantages for women and do some good. Go for women’s equal pay for equal jobs. Grandma would say, “Wise up, ladies.”

Boobs are not exciting parts of the female anatomy, you say? Let me tell you, not only do they excite babies but many men folk too. You say it is not a political issue, yet proponents quote law regarding equality. Of course it is political.

Yes, I know they have topless parades in New York and other states. I also know the go-topless movement was started by a man.

I’m not a prude and I don’t really expect Kitsap County to be overrun with topless near-nudes (although, with some of the outfits worn, they almost are). It is against the law and that seems to be the real point. Men can legally be topless, and many women today have the opinion that anything he can do we have the right to do too.

I have another tale about my husband from years back. Don came in one afternoon with a silly grin on his face and brown eyes dancing. I asked, “What’s up?” He told me that while driving on the back road from Poulsbo, he saw a gal who appeared to be naked trotting on a horse in a fenced field. Slowing the car, he saw her front bouncing like a pair of balloons. She was wearing what looked like a fragment of a bikini top. While laughing sheepishly, he admitted he nearly drove into a ditch.

When reading the article, I became hysterical thinking of places one might run into a topless scene in the future. Perhaps a group of fellows sitting in a popular watering hole suddenly spot a topless gal walking in and nearly choke on their beer. One guy might say to the other, “Hey, don’t stare. We don’t want to get arrested for sexual harassment!”

Imagine having dinner with a pair of beauties staring at you. Or, a well-endowed jogger running through Kingston. That ought to stop ferry traffic.

Yes, I’m being facetious, but the idea strikes me as funny. It is just one more idiotic thing to get hot about when there are so many more valid, important issues to be taken care of.

Let’s preserve a few of the qualities and female mysteries that make us women. What is so wrong with that scenario?

— Contact Jacque Thornton at jacquejt@    centurytel.net.