A reader submitted a dream involving a deceased family member and asked how one can tell the difference between a dream and a “spirit visit.” The primary aspects in determining this is to put the dream in context of the dreamer’s life circumstances and beliefs.
It is common to have dreams of family or friends who have passed and there are ways to discern their meaning. It is important to ask, “Why this dream now?” Typically, this category of dreams occurs shortly before or after a person has passed or may involve a deceased person in a dream when there is a mutual relative or friend who faces eminent death. The following is one of these dreams:
Q: My mother is terminally ill and I had this dream the other day where my aunt, her sister who passed away in 1975, came to me and told me “Don’t worry. I’ll be right here waiting for your mom when it’s time for her to cross over.” I think it was actually a visit from my aunt.
— L.G., Bainbridge Island
As with all dreams, the dreamer is the ultimate authority surrounding its meaning after examining its aspects and discovering what resonates. This dream could be a compensatory dream in that it is more palpable to have the deceased aunt as intercessory, since it may be too painful to confront the impending loss of her mother. The psyche protects us as we move through life transitions.
However, it is the reported FEELING attached to the dream that renders it real to the dreamer. The strength of feeling is key, especially if the dream/feeling lingers days or weeks afterward. I suggest that the dreamer and her mother are being prepared for her transition by a loving family member. The dream message can provide comfort and help when coping with loss.
It might be useful to share the dream with her mother because of the feelings surrounding the dreamer’s experience and appearance of the aunt “spirit” who reassured the dreamer she would be there for her mother. If the dreamer fleshed out the setting/locale, what clothing the aunt wore and how old the aunt/dreamer were in the dream, it would add dimension and the dreamer would better know what actions to take.
A Seneca prophet stated, “…dreams in relation to this world and spiritual world are as wide as the edge of a maple leaf.” This dream may be a true visitation with a departed soul as the dreamer believes. It would be insightful for the dreamer to record her associations and explore feelings that surface as she navigates that thin veil of that ultimate mystery. By re-entering the dream in active imagination, she could dialogue with her aunt — ask questions, thank her or express feelings, ideas, et al.
According to Jungian Marie-Louise von Franz in “On Dreams &Death,” “It seems to me that one can ‘feel’ whether the figure of a dead person in a dream is being used as a symbol for some inner reality or whether it ‘really’ represents the dead …. At best, it can be said that if interpretation on the subjective level makes little or no sense, even though the dream has an especially strong numinous effect, then interpretation on the objective level might be taken into consideration.” (von Franz, p. xv.)
Should you have a dream in which a “spirit” visits, note the level of feelings attached, its timing and your intuitive sense of its meaning and trust that you are correct.
Dream Times is an interactive column for readers. If you have questions or dreams you would like to explore, contact me at dreamtimesguide@gmail.com or visit my website at www.dreamtimes guide.com.
— Marlene King, M.A. is a writer, artist and mental health professional who has been a dream practitioner for individuals and groups for more than 30 years. Her column and articles have appeared in Dream Network Journal and various other publications.
