My girls Violet, 5, and Eleanor, 3, have a fascination with birds. They often play that they are birds and build a nest out of blankets and feed each other “worms.”

They love to sneak up to a bird with the hopes of catching and holding it. When I was a child, I did the same thing. My mom said I got so good at it and was able to get close enough that she was worried I might catch one.

This spring Violet had an egg hunt at her preschool. All of the parents sent a dozen hard-boiled, decorated eggs. Violet enjoyed hunting and brought home the dozen eggs she found. I picked her up from school, and the girls went straight to the backyard to play.

While I was preoccupied with something, the girls smashed the hard-boiled eggs all over the yard. Eleanor planned to lure seagulls in to eat the eggs. Then she would catch one and ride it across the ocean. Eleanor decided that she would catch a seagull for each family member so we could all ride across the ocean, too. She was very excited about her plan. I love her imagination.

On a recent evening after bath time Violet and Eleanor were playing birds. They had just gotten out of the bathtub and covered up with their towels. Their towels draped across their shoulders were their wings. Violet was the mama bird, and Eleanor was an egg under her towel. Then she hatched out and began to fly, but Violet stopped her quickly.

“Aww, poor little baby bird, you don’t know how to fly yet,” Violet told her. “You’ll have to learn how.”

Eleanor crouched under her blanket and made sad sounds. After a few moments, she popped up with a big smile and said, “I tooted, so now I know how to fly.”

I’m not sure how I didn’t realize before, that tooting gives you flying power.

Alauna Sallis, of Poulsbo, took her sons Walker, 13, and Zander, 7, to the movies. As they were waiting for the previews to start, her boys were talking about being the best. Alauna rattled off how they are each the best at something. Zander said that he is good at guitar.

“Really,” Walker said loudly. “What’s a g-string then.”

“I almost choked on the popcorn I was eating,” Alauna said.

During the summer, Phillip Godinez, of Hansville, took his son Amias, who was almost 3 at the time, to the Harborside Fountain Park in Bremerton. Each time the large volcano-like fountains would erupt massive amounts of water, Amias would ask his dad if he saw the fountain “barely shoot water.”

“It turns out he thought the word barely means to roar loudly like a bear,” Phillip said.

When Poulsbo resident Tabitha Miller’s niece, Destiny, was about 4, Tabitha visited her in Spokane. Tabitha was putting on her spanks when Destiny walked into the room, looked at her and said, “Aunt Tabby, what’s wrong with your body. You look like you have two butts.”

“I laughed so hard, and I still laugh about it six years later,” Tabitha said.

I would love to hear your funny kid stories, so please send them my way. Parents, teachers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and people who love children, please send your stories and cute kid photos to quinn@ward.media. I look forward to hearing from you.

Quinn Ward is a former journalist living in Poulsbo. She has been recording the amazing and outrageous things her kids say since they have been able to talk.