By Thom Stoddert

Reunions have an undeserved reputation as a party of middle-aged men acting like 20 year olds. However, Branson, Missouri disproved that idea.

For many years after I left the war behind, I thought about the whole experience; most of my feelings were on dark side.

So, when I got a call one evening from a former platoon sergeant inviting me to a reunion, I was taken back and rather excited. It quickly faded as I thought about it all.

Do I want to go and see these people again? Will they want to see me? Is this going to re-inflame a lot of old, bad memories?

I have been to several since then. I have learned much each time. I found out that almost every one of the other troopers had a lot of anxiety and trepidation going for the first time.

In every case they were glad they ignored their fears and did attend. Old antagonisms were gone and now became a source of laughter. Friendships, fostered years ago, were deepened and new relationships formed. More and more brought their wives and family to each of the subsequent gatherings.

Thus a new dimension has developed.

The two guys, who mentored me when I got to Vietnam, have married wonderful women, who themselves, have become very good friends. Over the years we have lost men, and still their families are welcomed. They have become part of us — enriching us.

The underlying theme has been, “what we were then and what we are now.” We used the reunions to teach and explain to each other and our families what we went through. We could now confide to each other what we could not even admit to ourselves then. It was freeing and exhilarating; and now we were sharing this with those we love the most.

As one example; Don from Arizona, one of the guys I got to know for the first time that summer because he rotated in, just after I left Nam, Don confided to me of the bitterness he had after Vietnam and now the lack of ease he feels when thanked for his military service.

This hit home for me, as I dislike it when a stranger comes up to me as a veteran and starts thanking me for my service. I could not share it 40 years ago; why now? I never shared this with anybody for fear of sounding like a bitter old man. But I was not alone; many others felt this way and shared it.

After the reunion was over I was chatting with the management of the hotel that hosted us. I suggested doing a story on them and all they did for us. She said that would be nice, but for me to remember, the focus is always on the veteran and getting the healing of meeting together once again. She refocused me on the real value of reunions, officers, NCOs, soldiers, their families, and their loved ones being one and caring for each other by learning, sharing and laughing.