BREMERTON—Something rare happened at the Kitsap County Courthouse July 7. In a tiny courtroom filled with family and friends, two women adopted two boys.

“It’s kind of an interesting arrangement we’ve got,” said Albert Lirhus, attorney for the adopting parents, Liz and Ashleigh Barraza. “And half the free world has come to watch.”

Liz and Ashleigh adopted Isaac, 7, and Marcus, 3.

The two boys wore matching matching suits and struggled to stay still as Court Commissioner Thurman Lowans led the proceedings. Following the adoption, he invited them to his chair for a photo. As they scrambled up the steps he jokingly warned them “No, no, no this is not a jungle gym.”

They’ve had Marcus in their home since February 2015 and Isaac since February 2014. To Marcus they’re “mom,” but Isaac struggles with it. He’s been abandoned too many times by too many “moms” to be so trusting.

Liz and Ashleigh Barraza

Liz and Ashleigh were officially married August 9, 2013. Before that they’d signed a notary making them domestic partners at a Mailboxes Etc. store in San Diego.

Liz is a corpsman in the Navy. Ashleigh used to work for an online educational company, but quit in February when they brought home Marcus.

“There are no daycares that will take care of a 3-year-old with Type I diabetes,” Ashleigh said.

Liz joined the USS Stennis after returning from a deployment to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba in 2013.

“We were lucky enough to get sent here that has marriage equality and we always knew we wanted to adopt so we were lucky enough that Washington state also offers adoption equality,” Ashleigh said.

But the clock was ticking. Liz’s stint in Bremerton is for three years and it took a year for them to become licensed foster parents leaving them just two years to adopt in Washington.

Adopting in other states could be tricky.

As Ashleigh explains it “One of us would have to do a single parent adoption. Once that adoption was finalized then the other parent would have to come in and do a step-parent adoption. And it’s expensive and embarrassing.”

Raising two boys isn’t something they’re afraid of or underestimating.

“As lesbians raising boys we have to be cognizant of the fact that they’re going to need male role models and that they’re going to need positive ones,” Ashleigh said. “We have to guide them in the direction we want them to go in. In the end it’s their choice.”

According to the 2010 census, there almost 95,000 same-sex couples with children in the U.S. Only about 20,000 of those couples adopted their kid or kids. The majority — 72.8 percent — are biological children.

Interestingly enough, neither Liz nor Ashleigh felt particularly different after adopting Marcus and Isaac. Liz shrugged it off and Ashleigh said it felt “ordinary.”

“I know what the implications of today are — they’re ours. There are so many loopholes that we don’t have to jump through anymore,” Ashleigh said. “I think the first time a kid gets a bump or bruise and I don’t have to report it that’s going to feel weird.”

Foster parents are required to report all injuries to Child Protective Services.

Liz’s mother, however, was quite emotional when asked about the adoption.

“That these girls have made a life for themselves and wanted children and … they’re willing to take other people’s children in their home and raise them as their own,” Delia Barraza said, holding back tears. “I think they’ll be very good parents.”

Sister moms

Perhaps most unique about the Barrazas is the community they’ve developed.

Isaac is the middle of three siblings. He has a half-sister named Emily, 9, who was adopted by Matthew and Leah Davis, and a half-brother named Adam, 5, who is being fostered by Joanna Martin.

The Barrazas aren’t required to visit with Davis or Martin, nor are Davis or Martin required to visit with the Barrazas. But they do. And they love it.

“We created a community to raise these kids and Leah’s mother had the boys. So Emily’s adopted mom’s mother had the boys first — she’s also a foster parent,” Ashleigh said. “So between all of us we’re able to intermingle and she’s still Nana and she’ll always be Nana which is really cool for them.”

These “sister moms” lean on each other for support. Davis lives in Kitsap County and Martin lives in Issaquah, so help is never too far away.

“We were able to get a special waiver too so Emily can stay both of our houses,” Ashleigh said. “So if she’s missing her brother I can go get her and she lives out in (Kitsap County).”

Having each other helps too because fostering kids can be a lonely endeavor.

“It’s a different animal, it’s a different beast and it’s really, really isolating and so when you have this connective piece where everybody is like a foster parent or knows the system all of a sudden the conversations are different and the comfort level is different,” Martin said.

Unorthodox families

On one hand, the Barraza family is far from orthodox. On the other hand, it might just be what many foster kids need.

Some kids develop a fear of a gender based on previous abuse.

“You can’t parent these kids the way you parent a biological child who hasn’t been traumatized, who hasn’t been abused, who hasn’t been like whatever else,” Ashleigh said. “It’s a different way to parent and a different way to look at everything.

Martin believes some of them are better off with two moms or two dads.

“The more unique foster homes are the better we can serve the kids that are in foster care because the kids that are in foster care aren’t the same,” Martin said. “I think there’s a huge strength between fostering being totally different types of families.”

Soon, the Barraza’s will foster a 13-year-old girl who may not fit in a traditional family archetype.

“(She’s) coming to our house identifying as bisexual, biologically female, but not wanting to identify as female — can we stick them in a heterosexual household with a strong male persona or strong female persona?” Ashleigh asked.

Isaac

When Isaac entered foster care, his teeth were rotting from neglect. He’d never been to a dentist and he wasn’t told to brush. Today, three years and six foster families later, he has eight silver crowns, 17 fillings and three or four fake teeth.

He’s still recovering from the lack of love in his early development, but Liz and Ashleigh have tried to counteract that with extra affection.

It seems to be working.

A few hours after the adoption, Ashleigh asked him why he doesn’t call her mom.

“Because I never like had a mom, because I was always moving homes,”

“And now?” Ashleigh asked.

“I do have one!” Isaac said as he ran into her arms.

“One? How many?” Ashleigh asked, hugging him.

“Two!”