Were these news headings really proofread? A gal-pal sent these items in an e-mail awhile back. Here are a few I found laughable, and thought you folks might get a kick out of them too. So let’s start the New Year with a rib-tickler. Some may have to be read twice to get the gist if you’re a little slow on the up-take like me.

Newspaper headlines:

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash Expert Says (No really, you think?)

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jay Walkers (Now that’s taking things a bit far, wouldn’t you say?)

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinary Takes Over (Wow, what a guy!)

Miners Refuse to Work After Death (Good-for nothing lazy slackers!)

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant (Gee-whiz, see if that works better than a fair trial!)

War Dims Hope for Peace (Well now, I can see where it might have that effect!)

If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly it Might Last Awhile (You really think so?)

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures (Well go figure that!)

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges (You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?)

Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge (He probably is the Battery Charge!)

New Study on Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group (What, they aren’t fat enough?)

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft (Idiot, shouldn’t eat beans)

Hospital Sued by Seven Foot Doctors (Wowie, are they tall!)

The Grand Winner and my favorite:

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery, Hundreds Dead (I never would have guessed, would you?)

Don’t ask me why this subject came up from my storage bin of a brain, but it just popped out the other day. What was the longest word in the dictionary in 1942? No one but me would think this interesting, I suppose. I love words and remember an I. Q. test given me during that year – I knew it then – I remember it now. ntidisestablishmentarianism.” The word goes back to 19th century England, having to do with the philosophy of the Anglican Church against separation of church and state. Just don’t ask me to stand in front of the blackboard and spell it out loud. You’ll notice I’m only going to type the word once – and whatever you do, don’t ask me to repeat it in public.

I ask you now: why would my human computer-filing system save this information, of which has no value to me what so ever? Could it be I am being reminded of the fact that I was born with a God-given human computer, my brain, before the technology of today? I have so many questions that when the “Good Lord” sees me coming with a long list clutched in my hot little hand he’ll probably say “Oh no, not this one! Heaven help us all.”

Do you know how the original idea of a wire coat hanger came into being? Curious, I decided to check it out. It seems an employee in the Timberlake Wire and Novelty business, Albert Parkhurst, found the company didn’t have enough hooks for hanging the many worker’s coats and hats. He became quite upset one morning in 1903 because there was not a free hook left to hang his coat on. Finding a piece of wire, he bent it in half twisting the two ends together to make a type of hook then shaped it to his coat. He was able to hang it over another person’s coat. It worked so well he had the idea patented. Today the wire hanger is still used in dry cleaning shops, but plastic seems to have replaced them in our closets. (I love trivia with a passion, as you all know.)

From my family to yours, we wish you a “Happy New Year” with better things to come.