Editors by and large give suicides a wide berth. Names of the deceased, which are known by students, faculty, family and friends, are sometimes withheld altogether. As if the media itself tries to avoid an issue that impacts its readership.

The thinking behind this is that youths in our society are not smart enough to make their own decisions. That because they read of a suicide in the paper, they will martyrize it, follow suit and take their own lives.

I disagree.

But even so, I write this not as an editor. But as a concerned citizen and a parent. And I write this not for parents at all but rather for their children.

I’m not trying to name names or rip scabs off of slow to heal wounds. That would be callous. Unforgiveable. But, at the risk of sounding preachy, I feel all of you — the children of North Kitsap — need to take stock of your lives. Not for the here and now. For the future.

Ask yourself where do you want to be in five years? Ten? Or even 20? This is important because each and every one of you are special and each and every one of you have a role to play down the road of life. All too often this road is cut short, whether by accident or intent.

As a human, I feel there is no greater tragedy than suicide because it is an indication of lost hope. There is always hope. Being a teenager can be tough, no question.

I was one myself … a lifetime ago. Things weren’t always rosy and unlike TV, my problems were never wrapped up in 30 minutes. My bullying in grade school seemed to turn tide in high school as I became a target of ridicule from time to time — my speech impediment and muscular problems painting an all to easy to hit bull’s-eye. I was picked on. Disliked. Made fun of in front of classrooms of smirking peers.

My support network — whether of friends and or family — didn’t always seem able to shoulder the huge burdens I experienced on a regular basis. I turned to alcohol and later drugs, landing myself in even more trouble.

I wanted a way out. Any way out. I contemplated taking my own life when things got bad. So bad that I felt as though the hole I was in was so dark I would never find light.

But it was there all along. Inside of me.

Even in the deepest of darkness, there is light and hope.

I believe this light is in each one of us, and whether you attribute this to a higher power or personal strength, it is there. Sometimes it is only a flicker of a weak flame, blowing in a steady breeze, but it’s there.

I believe that if I can find it, so can you. But in order to do so, you must look beyond your life as a teenager. I’ve seen the fire of too many young lives snuffed out prematurely since I started in newspapers more than a decade ago. Each and every one saddens me and each and every one tears at my gut.

Whether the child lost is a well-liked sports hero, a popular church-goer or a friendless “nobody,” I hurt for them, and I hurt for those they left behind. All too often fingers are pointed. Tempers flare and questions that have no answers are asked.

Such actions are reminders that no matter our age, we are all children in the grand scheme of things. But, as such, we must be willing to allow ourselves to learn, change and ultimately grow into the unique individuals we are meant to become.

JOE IRWIN

Hansville