The Year 2007 is fast approaching. What will it bring? Flying cars? Colonization of the moon? Inexpensive housing in North Kitsap? No new taxes? A Brad and Jen reunion? A return of the fashionable mullet? Fear not.

Not only is the North Kitsap Herald the official paper of North Kitsap, but we’re also all about looking out for our readers. Thanks to some tinkering on one of our office eMacs, our staff was able to briefly look into the future. Amazing, yes? So without further fanfare, here’s what you’ll be reading about in 2007…

Kingston residents, chapped by the fact that Kitsap Transit’s sales tax proposal was downed by voters 62-48 percent, tire of waiting for passenger-only boat service to Seattle. Construction of the Little City by the Sea to the Emerald City Bridge gets underway in June as millions of milk cartons are roped together by members of the Red Hat Society, Kingston Kiwanis, Downtown Kingston Association, Kingston Citizens Advisory Council, Kingston Chamber of Commerce, Port of Kingston, Kingston Rotary and others.

Unfortunately, Seattle, whose citizens were supposed to meet Kingstonites halfway, never received the letter of intent. Instead the correspondence ended up at the city of Edmonds, which rallied behind the effort — thus further improving the connection between the two communities.

In the spirit of it being 2007, Poulsbo entrepreneur Bill Austin reveals that he has been in “Her Majesty’s Secret Service” for decades. After escaping man-eating sharks in Liberty Bay, wooing several lasses at Tizley’s Euro Pub, and chasing bad guys around Little Norway in a paint splattered El Camino turned hovercraft, the 007 agent, Austin … Bill Austin, informs Mayor Kathryn Quade that the city is “safe enough for the Queen.” He then informs council of his true mission: to build a new city hall on Front Street — without a permit.

Suquamish’s Chief Seattle Days prove more successful than ever as the salmon eating contest is introduced. Takeru Kobayashi, 2006 World Hotdog Eating Champion, who broke his own world record by eating 53 and 1/2 hotdogs in just 12 minutes, attends and competes. Kobayashi is “shamed” by lutefisk legend Eric Perkins, who downs seven pounds of chum in less than two minutes, beating the wiry world record holder by a landslide.

S’Klallam buys into the LevX techonolgy touted by Karl “Jerry” Lamb as a solution to State Route 305’s traffic woes for its “Knowledge on the Go” program. Through a $17 million federal grant, the tribe’s House of Knowledge is placed on one of Lamb’s levitating platforms and whisked around the North End effortlessly.

Indianola Days’ baseball game takes on a professional feel after Big Unit Randy Johnson moves to the tiny community. Johnson announces plans to “fan” the local batters from the other side of the dock. He runs into trouble after Derek Jeter moves in down the road. Barry Zito buys a house. So does Ryan Howard and as their “friends” and “co-workers” converge on the community, the 2007 game garners the biggest crowd ever. ESPN covers the contest from the vantage point of the Indianola Dock.

Kitsap County, the city of Poulsbo and Lemolo residents meet to discuss the possible annexation of the scenic community. Representatives from each meet at the Poulsbo Fire Station and much to Lemolo’s dismay, it is revealed that the annexation was already signed, sealed and approved in mid-2006.

Port Gamble decides that its 1880s heydays are simply too passe and adopts the image of a 1980s community instead. Pastels, paisley and parachute pants make a huge comeback as former teen idols Corey Haim and Corey Feldman are named co-mayors, and declare that all of the town’s newborns must be named in their honor.

Bainbridge Island severs all links to Kitsap County and uses its vast resources to create giant, robotic legs that pneumatically lift the entire land mass and walk it across Puget Sound to it’s rightful place: off the shores of Alki Beach. Islanders laud the move as the best thing to happen to Bainbridge since an enormous glacier plowed through the Puget Sound and made the island an island epochs ago.

Hansville loses power in a windstorm. What? It could happen.