My old friend Leon Small would say, “In the end, we regret what we didn’t do as much as what we did.” Looking back on my life, there are few big things I would do over. My regrets as an adult often center on the little things I could have, and should have, done as a young person, but didn’t.

For many pre-adults, the world is about them. Words, actions and events are filtered through how they are impacted. A bigger life picture comes later, sometimes much later, as they mature.

There were so many opportunities I had with my family, I now see, to help and contribute. Not getting-a-second-job-to-support-the-family actions. Simple, helpful activities that would have made my parents’ lives easier. Mowing the lawn without being asked (they often nagged to get me behind the mower). Emptying the dishwasher. Washing and folding a couple of loads of clothes. Vacuuming the house. Planning and cooking dinner for two parents tired from their jobs.

There were so many simple things I could have done to help my family and give Mom and Dad an unanticipated break. Unfortunately, like most kids, lawns and dishes, washing and folding, vacuums and meals didn’t add much joy to my life, so why would I do them?

Even a simple card telling my parents how much I loved them, and how deeply I appreciated them, would have brightened their day more than I then understood.

With all that in mind, I hope on Father’s Day young people will consider a modest, but important, gift to Dad. (Mom won’t mind either, I guarantee).

Do some household chores without being asked, or wash Dad’s car or weed the garden.

A card to Dad thanking him for his hard work, love and dedication to the family will certainly brighten his Father’s Day. A message from the heart. Something as simple as:

“You work so hard as a dad. Thanks.”

“You are a role model I will always look up to.”

“Even though I am struggling right now it is not because of you, but despite all the love, care and guidance you have given.”

“When you look in the mirror, you will see a parent I hope to be someday.”

“Most the good things I have done are because of you and Mom. Nearly all of the errors I have made are from not listening to you and Mom.”

“Happy Father’s Day to someone who deeply deserves it.”

“I am struggling. You are solid as ever. I hope as time goes on to find that solidity in my life. I love you.”

“Life is made of hard work and luck. You always worked hard for us. I always was lucky to have you as a Dad.”

In my view, the two most powerful, and beautiful, phrases in the English language are a heartfelt “Thank you” and “I love you.” Say both to your Dad on Sunday. After you’ve done a chore or two to ease his responsibilities for the day.

Happy Father’s Day to dads who give so much and expect, in return, so little.

Copyright Jeff Tolman 2015. All rights reserved.