OK, here we are again … facing February. This is the month filled with all that giving of candy, flowers and beautiful cards.

There was once a time when I waited for the 14th of February with great anticipation. First it was grade school: Who would give me a card? Who would I give a card to? Would I get as many cards as my friends? Would there be a secret admirer?

Then as I got older and was in high school, it was almost the same: Who would ask me for a date? Who would give me a card? Who would I give a card to? Would there be a secret admirer?

Time goes by quickly and after I was married and a mother we (the parents) were busy with: Who has time to buy the cards? How many cards do we buy for school exchange? My favorite was when my son was in the fifth grade and he proclaimed, “I have a secret admirer!”

Married people all know who one admirer is (hopefully their spouse); that isn’t much of a mystery. But have you stopped to think there are so many secret admirers out there that we don’t even know about?

Do you admire the guy with the beautifully manicured hedge and lawn and his artistry? Do you admire the woman who so effortlessly presents those lovely dinner parties? Do you admire the man who can fix anything in the house, paint decks, re-wires lamps? Or the guy who cooks breakfast and serves it with mimosas? Or the couple who seems to be at every community function giving their time and energy?

You probably know a person you secretly admire so this is what I’m proposing: Let’s stop being so secret about those things we admire in people. Let’s spread the compliments around. Let’s start making someone else happy because we think they are special. Let’s make their day better by acknowledging their efforts and how well we think they do whatever it is they do. We could all start with one compliment a week and see how it goes. What do you think?

And if you’re lucky enough to receive one of those compliments from an admirer, do you know what to say?

Please don’t argue, and don’t try to change that complimenting person’s mind. And please don’t explain how you do that thing you are being complimented on. (All I do is take these special hedge clippers with the oxidized blades, etc. etc.) Details are boring. Your actions are all we, the complimenters, need.

Most of all, please don’t just give the complimenter a look like he must have lost their mind because everyone can do what you do. They can’t.

But please do thank him and maybe say, “It’s nice that someone noticed.” That’s giving a little happy reward back.

I hope that you receive several of these secret admirer compliments and they come very soon, but if you don’t get them from other people give them to yourself. You especially know how good you are at making that flower garden perfect or cooking salmon on the grill or keeping the family car running, so give yourself a little admiration. Remember, if you’re reading my column, I admire that in you, and I think you’re special, too.

Contact Donna Lee Anderson at welltoldtales@aol.com.