By Carl R. Johnson

Recently, my wife and I saw the new movie “Black or White,” which features Kevin Costner and Octavia Spencer. Although the movie focuses on the racial implications of raising a child of a different race than yourself, it also calls attention to one of the biggest and growing challenges of our day: grandparents raising grandchildren. In fact, the numbers keep growing, and the grandparents raising these grandchildren are paying the price … physically, emotionally, and financially.

We know that seniors already face major concerns for their future economic well-being (i.e. Dwindling investment income, potential social security cutbacks, etc.) Add to these concerns the prospect of having the responsibility to raise a grandchild (or grandchildren), and the burden becomes overwhelming.

Many people reading this column either know someone (a friend or family member), or are themselves, raising a grandchild, and as a result know the struggles and heartache that come with the territory. And since I have some good friends in this situation, I thought it might be helpful to share their responses to several questions I posed to them.

What were the biggest challenges in raising your grandchildren?

First and foremost was gaining legal custody. (Something that proved to be very expensive and complicated.) The next challenge was gaining the trust of the children. (And that takes time and much love.) Being retired has created tremendous financial demands on my wife and me. We depleted most of our retirement funds to assist our daughter with her drug treatment programs, and, sadly, our daughter passed away as a result of her drug usage (she was 40 at the time), and the cost of her funeral wiped out the last of our reserves.”

What have been some of the blessings?

“Knowing that you are making a difference in the lives of your grandchildren is a major blessing. Seeing them improve and grow is a blessing unto itself, even though there are times when your anger at what their parents did to them rages within you.”

If you were giving counsel to a couple facing the prospect of raising a grandchild (grandchildren), what would you say?

“I know many other grandparents are caught with the need to consider raising their grandchildren. Some things to consider involve: obtaining legal custody … having the finances necessary … having a home with adequate space … having the health and energy needed to raise active children … and most importantly … having the love, devotion, and desire to raise them.

What are some meaningful ways people (friends and family) can be supportive and encouraging?

“We have been blessed with many community individuals who have acted as mentors and coaches. They often take the children out for events or include them in family activities, which gives them a greater sense of family rather than aging grandparents who are physically and financially strapped.

I hope this interview with my friends has been informative and instructive. Obviously, there has been much pain mixed with the joy of raising these grandchildren. However, let these final words from my friends be a source of encouragement:

“Grand parenting has great rewards as you see your grandchildren grow into adulthood with futures that could have been destroyed under other circumstances.”

We know that seniors already face major concerns for their future economic well-being (i.e. Dwindling investment income, potential social security cutbacks, etc.) Add to these concerns the prospect of having the responsibility to raise a grandchild (or grandchildren), and the burden becomes overwhelming.

Many people reading this column either know someone (a friend or family member), or are themselves, raising a grandchild, and as a result know the struggles and heartache that come with the territory. And since I have some good friends in this situation, I thought it might be helpful to share their responses to several questions I posed to them.

What were the biggest challenges in raising your grandchildren?

First and foremost was gaining legal custody. (Something that proved to be very expensive and complicated.) The next challenge was gaining the trust of the children. (And that takes time and much love.) Being retired has created tremendous financial demands on my wife and me. We depleted most of our retirement funds to assist our daughter with her drug treatment programs, and, sadly, our daughter passed away as a result of her drug usage (she was 40 at the time), and the cost of her funeral wiped out the last of our reserves.”

What have been some of the blessings?

“Knowing that you are making a difference in the lives of your grandchildren is a major blessing. Seeing them improve and grow is a blessing unto itself, even though there are times when your anger at what their parents did to them rages within you.”

If you were giving counsel to a couple facing the prospect of raising a grandchild (grandchildren), what would you say?

“I know many other grandparents are caught with the need to consider raising their grandchildren. Some things to consider involve: obtaining legal custody … having the finances necessary … having a home with adequate space … having the health and energy needed to raise active children … and most importantly … having the love, devotion, and desire to raise them.

What are some meaningful ways people (friends and family) can be supportive and encouraging?

“We have been blessed with many community individuals who have acted as mentors and coaches. They often take the children out for events or include them in family activities, which gives them a greater sense of family rather than aging grandparents who are physically and financially strapped.

I hope this interview with my friends has been informative and instructive. Obviously, there has been much pain mixed with the joy of raising these grandchildren. However, let these final words from my friends be a source of encouragement:

“Grand parenting has great rewards as you see your grandchildren grow into adulthood with futures that could have been destroyed under other circumstances.”